Most things in our minds have a path, one connection that lead to another, that lead to another, and then comes a belief or perception, something that integrates into our thought pattern, behaviors, personality. Then there are those things that explode your mind, there wasn’t a direct path there, a chronological series of perceptions and experiences that lead to a conclusion. When those explosions occur, your mind begins to scramble to find meaning, understanding, solutions. That is trauma. That outlandish, shocking, incomprehensible event, or events, occur and your brain scrambles to reconnect itself and you end up with a bunch of incoherent, fear based, thoughts and beliefs. You change, become someone different, because you lost what blew up in the explosion, and gained the fear that came with it. That event, just was, there wasn’t a why, and if there is a why, finding out isn’t as important as accepting that it just was. I say this as someone trying my best to heal, so take it with a tremendous amount of empathy and compassion.